Where’s the Bathroom?

It’s a common criticism.

Where are the bathrooms in a dungeon?

Honestly, sometimes I like to include them. It’s solely so that people who haven’t considered this as of yet will now be cursed with the burden of wondering where the bugbears take a crap in every game they play going forward.

Most of the time? I don’t care. Why? Because neither does anyone else.

Look, I think there’s a line with simulation on one end and game on the other. Everything we make falls somewhere between them on that line.

Rules light things are usually more towards game. Crunchy stuff is usually more towards simulation.

But if we wanted to go total simulation, we’d go grab a butcher knife from the kitchen and go fight giant rats in a Chicago ally somewhere.

(Those suckers were big).

Truthfully, though, we want to cut the boring stuff in a game and get to the fun. Sure, we might track rations, but rarely do we describe the instance of eating them in any great depth. It’s just resource management.

Yeah, there are no bathrooms in most dungeons, but there also isn’t a toilet on the Mona Lisa and we don’t worry about characters from The Godfather brushing their teeth. Just get to the good stuff.

Talk soon,

-James

PS. I’ll be honest – as I wrote this, I considered coming up with a resource management/random encounter style mechanic for dealing with characters having bowel movements. I walked myself back from that ledge. You’re welcome.