It’s a common criticism.
Where are the bathrooms in a dungeon?
Honestly, sometimes I like to include them. It’s solely so that people who haven’t considered this as of yet will now be cursed with the burden of wondering where the bugbears take a crap in every game they play going forward.
Most of the time? I don’t care. Why? Because neither does anyone else.
Look, I think there’s a line with simulation on one end and game on the other. Everything we make falls somewhere between them on that line.
Rules light things are usually more towards game. Crunchy stuff is usually more towards simulation.
But if we wanted to go total simulation, we’d go grab a butcher knife from the kitchen and go fight giant rats in a Chicago ally somewhere.
(Those suckers were big).
Truthfully, though, we want to cut the boring stuff in a game and get to the fun. Sure, we might track rations, but rarely do we describe the instance of eating them in any great depth. It’s just resource management.
Yeah, there are no bathrooms in most dungeons, but there also isn’t a toilet on the Mona Lisa and we don’t worry about characters from The Godfather brushing their teeth. Just get to the good stuff.
Talk soon,
-James
PS. I’ll be honest – as I wrote this, I considered coming up with a resource management/random encounter style mechanic for dealing with characters having bowel movements. I walked myself back from that ledge. You’re welcome.
TAGS: Game Theory, board games
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Bones. So many bones. How many people have been buried here?
You find a rusty long sword and a small, golden vulture head worth 250 gp.
The sand here on the edge of the sacrificial ground is loose and looks recently churned.
The Vulture Priests are the enemy of knowledge and enlightenment. They seek to bring the eternal silence, the end of all things. Decay and obedience is their only god.
Armor Class 6 [13]
Hit Dice 1 (4hp)
Attacks 1 × Beak (1d4 or by weapon)
THAC0 19 [0]
Movement 120’ (40’)
Saving Throws D12 W13 P14 B15 S16 (1)
Morale 8 (11 when at their temple)
Alignment Lawful
XP 10
Number Appearing 2d4 (1d6 × 10)
Treasure Type D
Immune to the Divine: The spells and powers of clerics and paladins have no effect on them.
Weapons: They frequently use wickedly curved daggers, which they use for sacrificial purposes.
Soul Clouders: There is a 10% chance that any Vulture Priest can use the sleep spell once per day. The targets are still awake, but they are beset by such a deep depression that it has the same effect as sleep. They may only watch what unfurls around them.
